It was one of the initial days to school, I was in 2nd grade, I got up in the morning at 6am as usual or rather was woken up by mom and got ready for school. It was the 1st term exam and had studied well the previous day. I reached school and looked around, some of them were revising through their notes and others were simply playing around. Finally the bell rang for the exam to start. The teacher entered the class and made us sit in the roll-list order and handed each of us the question paper. I looked into the question paper, it was pretty relieving to see that I knew all the questions and started answering them. Some of the questions which I liked, I spent more time on them and those that I didn't, I wrote what was necessary and moved on carelessly. It was for only one hour and soon the bell rang. The teacher started collecting all the answer sheets and I got up to go home. A few days passed and the teacher one day came and gave our answer sheets. I had scored 85%. It was o.k. I looked into it and wondered that my grade sheet is only going to represent what I write during the exam. It doesn't really evaluate me. I know that the teacher hardly knows me, if I write what she agrees with, then I get marks otherwise I don't. The truth is not known.
I somehow firmly believed even at that time that I am not what the teacher rates me as. All the marks, grading is only for my parents and society. I never gave it more importance that just a showpiece on my cupboard. Even at that age, I knew there has got to be a better rating system, a better teacher, a better learning mechanism. My thinking didn't change anything and I reached college. The same rating system prevailed. I then joined a company for which I worked for a few years. There again, we have reviews, these seemed better because it involved lot talking between the employee and employer, but still it didn't rate me complete. I could project myself as anything I wanted and others would believe me. At least to some extent I could make people believe in what I wanted them to believe in, not in what as is.... I know the previous line is pretty confusing, it is what it is meant to be.
One day I sat thinking about myself, I wondered if I knew myself well in the first place. Well, to some extent I do and to some extent my family members do. I wanted to explore, but I didn't how or where or whom.
Time simply flew and I was living a mundane life. Then it happened one day, I read the book Sri Sri As I Know Him. It was probably the gut feeling which told me 'He knows'. Then I did the course and met Him, spoke to Him and it was all simply great!. I don't know how He does it, but He communicates more through silence then words. All said and done, I finally found the one who knows me, the best part is He doesn't evaluate me but only nudges me to move ahead in the right path. He is the only one who has made me realize that I haven't done to my very best, that there is still lots to be done. Not necessarily in terms of money or fame but more in terms of life in its true perspective...
'Miles to go before I awake' :-)
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